Thinking tip
The Letter You Don’t Send
Write the reply. Give yourself time to decide whether it should leave your hands.
Before sending an angry reply, write the letter you want to send. Put down what happened, what you think it means, and what part you may be contributing. Then let it sit. When you come back, you may see another way to understand the situation, or decide the letter does not need to be sent. The pause will not fix every disagreement. It can help you respond with more perspective and less regret, while leaving room to preserve the relationship.
Try this
Write an uncensored first draft, but do not address or send it. Come back later and mark what you know, what you inferred, and what the other person might say. If a reply is still needed, write a second version focused on what you want to change and what should happen next.